The memento 纪念物

当我找到这个被我遗忘了很久的娃娃时，我想起了我的爷爷。
When I found this toy which I had forgotten for a long time, I recall my grandpa.
一天，原本只是不经意地想找个东西，却瞥见了一个被我遗忘很久的娃娃。或许是我故意遗忘的，毕竟那背后的意义太深、太痛；我根本就没有忘记，因为我知道那蕴含了我重要的回忆。我凝视着它，它还是一样干净，身着乐队的服饰，生气蓬勃的拿着钹，好像随时随地都可以演奏出一首动人的曲子。
One day when I was trying to find something unimportant in my room, I came upon a toy which I had long forgotten. I thought maybe I had ignored the toy on purpose because it had meant too much for me, memories of which were so painful and heartbreaking. But deep in my heart I knew that I would never been able to forget it because it had been branded in my mind. I gazed at it, which was in a band suit as clean and lively as it had been before, with cymbals in both hands. It seemed as if it were ready to execute a piece of music at anytime.
还记得，这是爷爷送我的玩具。小时候，我老是爱跟着爷爷到处跑，在一次旅行中，我看上了这个在地上走来走去敲钹的小狗。原本我只是眼巴巴地望着它，没想到一向不善于表达宠爱的爷爷，竟然会买下它送给我。我开心得不得了，一回家就抱着它向家人炫耀，一度还把它玩到没电。我记得，当初爷爷看着我的表情，他腼腆地笑着，又带有那么一点骄傲，好像在对大家说，“瞧，这个礼物可是我买给我孙女的呢。”没想到，这个礼物竟然是爷爷这辈子送我的唯一的玩具。
It’s a toy my grandpa gave me. When I was a child, I always followed my grandpa wherver he went. once when we were out, I saw this dog toy walking around striking cymbals. I gazed at it eagerly for a long while, not expecting that my grandpa, who was always unskillful to speak out his love, would buy it for me. I got wild with joy and showed it off in front of my family. I played with it day after day with such enthusiasm that it often ran out of battery. I still remembered my grandpa’s face when he watched me playing with the toy. His smile was shy but proud, as if he was trying to tell everyone it was he who bought me that toy. At that time I didn’t realize that it would be the last toy he gave me for his life.
病魔开始缠上爷爷的时候，大家都以为只是一些小病痛，没想到，不到几年光景，爷爷原本福态的身躯，竟然消瘦到不成人形。从原先到医院就医，变成了住进加护病房。那一阵子，我看到了爷爷不同往常的一面。受尽病痛的爷爷、无法言语的爷爷、泪流满面的爷爷，甚至一度想拔掉呼吸器的爷爷……，这些爷爷的画面，一再地割着我的心，好痛。看着爷爷的健康每况愈下，我们的心境也从期待渐渐转化成不舍与悲痛。
When he got ill, we thought it wouldn’t be much serious. But his condition was going from bad to worse. He was gradually wasting away with illness, and became thinner and thinner day by day. Finally he had to stay in the intensive care unit in hospital in his last days. I saw him crumpled by illness, unable to speak, his face bathed in tears; he had even wanted to give up his respirator once. His sufferings wrung my heart. As his health was falling all the time, each of us grieved with a wrenched heart.
爷爷最放心不下的就是我们这些孙子，他生病时，老嚷着：我如果走了，我的孙子怎么办？“直到某天半夜，他在病房内过世，我们连他的最后一面也没有见到。也许是爷爷不许我们看着他痛苦，他选择一个人默默地走。直到现在，我都还一直耿耿于怀，如果我可以陪伴爷爷走完最后一程就好了，我还有好多话想告诉他，他明明就答应过我，他会健健康康地回家，为什么竟这样不说一声地就走了。
My grandpa had always worried about his grandsons and granddaughters. He always mumbled who would take care of these children if he passed away till one day he died quietly at the midnight and we were even unable to say goodbye to him. Perhaps he didn’t want us to watch him in agony and chose to leave alone. I have regretted about it till now. How I wish I could have been able to accompany him in his last moment because there were so many things I wanted to tell him. He had promised me that he would come home strong and healthy, but he failed to keep his words and left us without saying a word.
大家像是约好了一样，过了那么多年，大家都不轻易提起爷爷的过往，却好像是勉强拴住的水龙头一样，只要轻轻一碰，就会爆发。
We seldom talked about grandpa since his death as if we had all reached an agreement, but I can’t help missing him as long as something reminds me.
我将娃娃拿了出来，按下开关，娃娃还是和当年一样，在地上载歌载舞，原本欢乐的音乐，如今听起来，却沉重得令人想哭。这个玩偶，无论如何都代替不了。爷爷，你过得好吗？我真地很想你。
I took out the toy and pressed the button. It began to walk on the ground striking its cymbals as happily as before. The music was lighthearted, but my heart was burdened with sadness. The toy can never bring my grandpa back to me. Grandpa, how are you there in heaven? I miss you so much.
Key words:
故意ɡùyì:on purpose
敲钹qiāobó:strike cymbals
表达biǎodá:speak out
开关kāiɡuān:button
载歌载舞zàiɡē zàiwǔ:walk on the ground striking its cymbals as happily as before