The Little Bird with No head

I apologize for not posting a month or so, I’ve been in the process of – ta da – moving back to China, so life’s been exciting but busy. On the upside, looks like I’ll have some interesting new posts from here. But today, in place of something interesting, we’ve got a slightly insipid story for young children about a bird who appears to have no head.
Childrens Beginner Chinese Reading Passage: The Little Bird with No HeadNot sure what the life lesson is in this story or if it’s supposed to have one at all. Maybe “don’t gossip”? Or “don’t make wild assumptions?” Not sure. I’d say the most interesting word in here is 天哪, which means “My goodness!” This is used with relative frequency in China, and it’s a good interjection to use when you’re shocked or unpleasantly surprised about something but don’t want to swear or be offensive. For example, if you walked into a room that smelled badly, or if you were jostled by a few dozen people coming off the subway, or if you found out that something you want to buy is outrageously expensive. It doesn’t always have negative connotations, though – this can be used neutrally as well, but I rarely hear it used in a super positive context. Because the word 天 “Tian” ends with an “n” and the word 哪 “na” starts with one, this usually comes out sounding like “Tian ah!” rather than “Tian na”.
Another notable word here is 假如 jiā rú, which means “if”. Thing is, in Chinese, there are quite a few ways to say “if”. There’s the most common, which is 如果，there’s 要是，there’s 假使，若是，and so on. At a loss for a good explanation myself, I found a site that does a great job of summing this up. In short:
1) expressing a fact: 要是你水烧到摄氏一百度就会沸腾, if you heat the water to 100 degrees celcius [then] it will boil.
2) talking about a future result: 假如你认真学外语就会进步- if you study foreign language hard, it will improve.
3)an imagined situation: 假使我很有钱，我就带她去很多地方- If I were rich,I would take her to so many places.
4)if something didn’t happen: 如果你没迟到，我就不会那么生气 (if you weren’t late, I wouldn’t of been so mad.
“ruguo” is more common than all of them. In a learning Chinese book you might only see “ruguo” and you would hear “ruguo” in daily speech. They are all correct to say, and you can use them interchangeably. However, i’d like to note that 要是 can also be used negatively if you place 不 in the middle, i.e. 要是 means “if” 要不是 means “If not..” such as 要不是你，我就不会来- If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t come. wheras “ruguo” and the others cannot be used in that way.
Click to Listen
白鹭 – bái lù – Egret
浅浅 – jiān jiān – Sound of running water
池 – chí – Pond
刺猬 – cì wèi – Hedgehog
脑袋 – nǎo dài – Head, skull, brains
鼹鼠 – yǎn shǔ – Mole (animal)
假如 – jiǎ rú – If
翅膀 – chì bǎng – Wing
伸出 – shēn chū – To stretch out
梳理 – shū lǐ – To comb out, untangle
一只白鹭在浅浅的池水中站着。
一只小刺猬走过，他说: “天哪，这只白鹭怎么没有脑袋！”
“真的！”一只小鼹鼠也叫了起来，“没有脑袋的鸟，我第一次看到!”
“假如我没有了脑袋就不能活了！”小刺猬说。
“是啊，可这只鸟还能站着不动，真了不起!”小鼹鼠说。
这时，白鹭从她那翅膀底下，伸出了长脖子，长脖子上长着一颗好短短的脑袋。
白鹭笑着说: “我是把脑袋钻进翅膀底下，梳理梳理羽毛，我怎么是没有脑袋的鸟呢?”
小刺猬和小鼹鼠都笑了，他们说:
“是我们没有用脑袋好好想一想，对不起，白鹭姐姐！”
Hide English »
An egret stood in the middle of a shallow pond.
A hedgehog walked up and said, “Goodness gracious! Somehow, that egret has no head!”
“Really!” a little mole also cried out, “This is the first time I’ve seen a bird without a head!”　　
“If I didn’t have a head, I wouldn’t be able to live!” the little hedgehog said.　　
“Yes, but this bird can still stand there not moving, how very impressive!”　　
At this time, from beneath her wing the egret stretched out a long neck, and on top of that long neck grew a very short head.　　
Smiling, the egret said, “I had my head tucked beneath my wing to comb out my feathers, how could I be a bird with no head?”　　
The little hedgehog and the little mole smiled, and they said:　　
“It was us that weren’t using our heads to think, sorry Sister Egret!”